Skype

Escape from jail.
Skype from jail.

The best way to start your day

"Press Ctrl-Alt-Delete to begin" - the best gesture to start your day with ;-)

Can you dispatch the rain?

- "... we are alarm monitoring center. When you press the emergency button live person picks up the call and we can dispatch fire, police or EMS to you ..."
- "Can you dispatch the rain?"

Taina tretiey butilki

Derzhat'sya netu bol'she sil - zeleniy zmej menya skosil.

Vkusnoe ragu

Uderzhat'sya menogu - ochen' vkusnoe ragu.

Sclerosis

If you can not recall the name of your mental disease it is most likely a sclerosis.

Sexism of the Spam Email

Unfortunately majority of you receive unsolicited email messages once in a while. Just notice that authors target message content (name, subject and body) for adult males, leaving female audience aside (feminists, fight for your right to get spam ;-)

Assuming that spamming is more business than the self-expression I would disagree that this gender discrimination is the reflection of spammer's personality. More likely it is the reflection of male vulnerability to any libido-related stimulus. It is not so easy to entice ordinary female with that simple call-to-actions.

However female mind rationality is not absolute either because more sophisticated syndication of news, fashion and gossip easily lures ordinary female to simulate the economy.

Admission of the above statements concludes to the higher mindset complexity of the ordinary female compared to the ordinary male.

Lifeline

It was so scary that my life line splashed all the way down to the zero.

So zlosti

prishel popisyat' a so zlosti obosralsya

Fat Ass Whore

Man, comes to erotic services company and asks for a fat girl. The front desk lady apologizes for the company being temporary understaffed with an overweight females and politely asks if a fit lady can fulfill his desires. Man answers: "No, my wife just dropped weight and I still can't get used to it :-("

Lord of the Darkness

Why Lord of the Darkness likes darkness?
Because he tries to help the Earth by saving electricity.

Why Lord of the Darkness likes to kill people?
That is his approach to the overpopulation issue.

Kto stuchitsya v dver' ko mne?

Kto stuchitsya v dver' ko mne s bol'shoi korobkoju v ruke?
Eto on, eto on - UPS pochtalion!

Error Message

Error messenger is the one who carries error messages.

happy woman

Happy woman - happy kids.
What about man?
Yes, that is what I said: kids.

Poop smells like medicine

- Why your poop smells like medicine?
- Better ask why they make medicine that smells like my poop!