Death will occure on-time

EN: Events in my life are occuring a bit earlier than I am ready for them. Let us hope that at least my death will occure on-time ;-)

RU: Sobitiya v moey zhizni proishodyat neskol'ko ran'she chem ya k nim gotv. Budem nadeyatsya chto moya smert' proizioidet vovremya.

Fell off the window

RU: Esli chelovek po oshibke vipal iz okna, to nenado za nim eto okno zakrivat. A mozhet vernetsya.

EN: If individual accidentially fell off the window - leave it open. Mey be he or she will return back.

998 ways of not doing this job

EN: I know at least two sure ways of doing this particular job and another 998 ways of not doing it.

RU: Ya znayu kak minimum dva vernih sposoba vipolnit’ etu rabotu i esche 998 sposobov ee ne delat’.

Otrigunchik

Poprigunchik - otrigunchik

Baby is growing

EN:
- How is baby? How is she growing?
- She is growing good. Does not fit the place she came from anymore.

RU:
- Kak rebenochek? Podrastaet?
- Bol'shaya uzhe. Obratno ne vlazit.