I can't live without my smart phone

Smart phone compensate my natural stupidity ;-) Or amplifies it?

So zlosti

prishel popisyat' a so zlosti obosralsya

Social Network Embarrassment

Embarrassment is when your mom is on the Facebook. Now your dad and grandpa are there ;-)

Please add me as a friend (sorry, there is no option to add as an enemy ;-)

I will take lunch

Proclamations on the political meeting:
"I will take the responsibility blah-blah-blah ..."
"I will take a challenge! Blah-blah-blah ..."
Voice from the crowd: "I will take a lunch" ;-)

Nightmare On Elmo Street

As parent of both toddler and teenager I am slightly familiar with the terms "Nightmare", "Elmo", "Emo" and "Elm Street". Do you find connections between the legendary horror movie "Nightmare on Elm Street" and the "Elmo" - Muppet on children's television show Sesame Street:

Horror movie title is "Nightmare On Elm Street". The name of the monstrous Muppet is "Elmo" and he lives on the "Sesame Street".

BTW the rest of "Elmo Street" dudes looks no better than shaggy Freddy ;-)

Talking on the phone

Driving and talking on the phone is dangerous. Walking a toddler and talking on the phone is even more dangerous ;-)

Was it chair or my back?

EN: Sometimes I cannot tell what is screeching - my back or my old chair.

RU: Inogda ya nemogu opredelit’ chto imenno u menya skripit – spina ili staroe kreslo.

Why people are talking to themselves?

EN: People are talking to themselves either to master oral communication skills or in favor of using open and widely acceptable communication protocol (as opposed to proprietary one).

RU: Liudi razgovarivayut sami s soboi libo dlya trenirovki razgovornih navikov libo ot izlishney liubvi k otkritim sovmestimim prototokolam (v protivopolozhnost’ k chastnim zakritim).

Shame

I did not feel something similar for a long time. Probably since I wet my pants in school for a fist time (the rest was not so frustrating ;-)

Not ready for yesterday

EN: Someone is ready for tomorrow, but I am not even ready for yesterday.

RU: Kto-to uzhe gotov k zavtra, a ya escho ne gotov ko vchera.

Something wrong with my ears

EN: Decreased need in earplugs at the office may be the sign of hearing deterioration or developing ignorance skills.

RU: Umen’shenie neobhodimosti nosit’ berushi v rabochem kabinete mozhet bit’ priznakom uhudshayuschegosya sluha ili razvitiya navikov bezrazlichiya.

Talking to Yourself

EN:
Q: Why are you talking to yourself?
A: Because all other folks around are busy.

RU:
Q: Pochemu ti razgovarivaesh s soboy?
A: Potomu chto ostal’nie sobesedniki vokrug zanyati.

Do not conceal beauty and sense of humor

EN: Some set of people cannot conceal their beauty. Another set of people cannot conceal their sense of humor. Are you belonging to both of those sets?

RU: Nekotorie liudi ne mogut skrit’ svoiu krasotu. Drugie – chustvo yumora. Prinadlezhish li ti k oboim gruppam?

Brilliant Opinion

EN: Do not let your carbon opinion to become brilliant due to self pressure and age – voice it while it fresh!

RU: Ne dai svoey uglerodnoi misli stat' briliantovoy v rezul'tate stareniya pod davleniem - virazi ee poka svezha!

Being yourself

EN: Be yourself even if it is not so profitable (in terms of money or popularity) because joy of being yourself is priceless.

RU: Bud' soboi dazhe esli eto ne tak vigodno ili populyarno potomu, chto radost' neposredstvennosti – bestsenna.

Stork logistics

EN: Certain babies are delivered over the air by storks. Other babies are delivered with less expensive stork ground service. Babies that are found in the cabbage were purchased in smart-starter grow-it-yourself kits by gardeners. If you are the computer geek or one’s misfortunate spouse you can try to spoof you baby by telling that she was downloaded from the Internet and printed in color. Most likely, geek babies not going to believe you. They already know that they were incarnated after living couple of dozens of lives and placed in custom-made genetically engineered human bodies to live another live on this planet.

RU: Nekotorie deti dostavlyayutsya aistom po vozduhu. Drugie deti postavlyayutsya bole deshevoy nazemnoi pochtoi. Roditeli-sadovodi virashivayut svoih detey na gryadkah v kapuste. Odnako esli vi “komputernij geniy” ili neschastniy suprug onogo to mozhete poprobovat’ nadurit’ vashe chado chto ego skachali s Interneta i raspechatali na tsvetnom printere. Veroyatnee vsego takie detishki vam ne poveryat potomu kak oni znayut chto oni bili inkarnirovani posle desyatka-drugogo zhizney v geneticheski-sproektirovannoe po spetszakazu telo chtobi prozhit ocherednuyu zhizn’ na etoi planete.

my native language is PHP

P.S. Sorry for my dreadful English, my native language is PHP.

Originally from http://forum.mysqlperformanceblog.com/s/m/982/#msg_num_1

Make her jealous

EN: Sometimes I feel jealous I am not a woman. Sometimes I make woman feel jealous about she is not a men.

RU: Inogda ya sam sozhaleyu chto ya ne zhenschina. Inogda ya dayu zhenschine sozhalet’ chto ona ne muzhchina.

Knowledge is torture

EN: Sometimes knowledge gives me peace of mind, but sometimes it gives me the torture.
RU: Inogda znanie prinosit mne spokoistvie a inogda muchenie.

Death will occure on-time

EN: Events in my life are occuring a bit earlier than I am ready for them. Let us hope that at least my death will occure on-time ;-)

RU: Sobitiya v moey zhizni proishodyat neskol'ko ran'she chem ya k nim gotv. Budem nadeyatsya chto moya smert' proizioidet vovremya.