Poseyala butilku

Poseyala butilku - pozhnesh ... dve

Painless Steel

EN: Besides the stainless steel there is the painless steel.
RU: Помимо нержавеющей стали в природе встречается также неболеющая сталь.

The most popular baby name

... among Internet marketing professionals is ... Guess!
(Edward - Ad Word)

HihiHead

Besides the kukuhead type of people there are hihihead type of people.

Vesna

Vesna pokazhet kto gde sral.
Vesna pokazhet kto s kem spal ;-)

Days of Week

Monday	Moonday
Tuesday	Duesday
Wednesday	Madnessday
Thursday	Truthday
Friday	Frieday
Saturday	Sadurday
Sunday	Sanday
?	Wrongday

Lungs are having a snowfall

EN: The heart is so cold that lungs are having a snowfall.
RU: Настолько ледяное сердце, что в легких снег идет.

Hurricane "Katrina"

EN: Hurricane "Katrina"? I thought those are pictures from our recent party.
RU: Uragan "Katrina"? A ya dumal eto fotki s nashey nedavney vecherinki.

"Red eye" decease

There is non-contagious "Red Eye" decease on photos besides the contagious "Pink Eye" decease.

I do not discriminate people

EN: I do not discriminate people. I hate everyone equally ;-)
RU: Ya ne proyavlyayu pristrastiya k liudyam. Ya ih vseh nenavizhu odinakovo ;-)

Feeling or believing

EN: According to best practices baby considered content after 3 Oz of liquid food. Easy to say! How would you explain it to crying baby?
RU: Soglasno rekomendatsiyam po uhodu za det'mi rebenok schitaetsya sitim posle upotrebleniya 84 ml zhidkosti. Horosho skazat'! Kak bi eto obiyasnit' plachuschemu rebenku?

Doktorskaya metrokarta

Vi kogda nibud' ran'she slishali virazhenie "doktorskaya metrokarta"? Pro doktorskuiu kolbasu slishal, a pro metrokartu net. Okazivaetsya eto proezdnoi bilet kotoriy dayut pensioneram v meditsinskom ofise dlya besplatnogo proezda.

Monsterpiece

It is not a Masterpiece it is a Monsterpiece.

Hard attack

Do you want me to have a hard attack?

Merzkiy

ProgramMerzkij instrument

Fireworks

EN: Hey pilot, watch out! It is not a firework it is an air defence.
RU: Ey pilot, beregis'! Eto ne saliut, eto PVO.

I like to make you pee

EN: ... bad guess. I am not cook or bartender. I am not even pervert. I am the clown ;-)

RU ... vot I ne ugadali. Ya ne povar i ne barmen. Ya dazhe ne izvraschenets. Ya kloun ;-)

Missing post stamp

EN: Once I saw the diaper that was folded into envelop-alike structure so neatly, so it was missing only post stamp and mailing label.
RU: Odnazhdi ya uvidel podguznik slozhenniy konvertikom nastol'ko akkuratno, chto emu ne hvatalo tol'ko marki i adresa.

Geometry figures

EN: The list of geometric figures added few more: Haemorrhoid and Paranoid.
RU: Spisok geometricheskih figur popolnilsya dvumya novimi figurami: Gemoroid i Paranoid.

Skunets

Skunets eto podvodnaya voniuchka. Smes' tuntsa so skunsom.

Obayashka

Babayozhka - obayashka.

Breastfeeding

EN: There are three possibilities to feed one baby with two breasts: either baby's mouth extends from ear to ear, or breasts are hanging low or baby just fed one breast at a time as any normal mom will do.
RU: Suschestvuet tri sposoba kormit' odnogo rebenka dvumya grudyami: libo u rebenka rot do ushey, hot' zavyazochki prishey, libo grudi visyat dostatochno nizko, libo rebenku dayut grudi po ocheredi.

Napil'niki

> > Меняю. Сговнилась фирма...
> V denezhnom plane ili v psihologicheskom?
Психологическом. Глупые прожекты. Чуствуешь себя напильником. Одним из многих напильников... Взаимозаменяемых напильников...

Folding@Home

EN: It was so long ago, probably at the time gods were simulating protein folding.
RU: Eto bilo tak davno, esche kogda bogi svertku proteina na emulyatore gonyali.

Nesravnennaya zhena

> > Как жена?
> Zhena kak zhena. Sravnit' ne schem. Nesravnennaya u menya zhena ;-)